The content in this page ("The Card*" by Harrison George) is not produced by Prachatai staff. Prachatai merely provides a platform, and the opinions stated here do not necessarily reflect those of Prachatai.

The Card*

(The third phase of the new Identification Card Act, to take effect in July, requires children aged 7-14 years old to be issued with ID cards.)

‘But you must have put it somewhere, Note. Where is it?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Did you leave it at school?’

‘I dunno.’

‘It’s not in your other trousers, is it?’

‘Dunno’

‘What’s the matter now?’

‘We can’t find his ID card again.’

‘Oh for – every morning it’s the same theng. Have you looked in his school bag?

‘No, I told him not to put it there. He’s lost 3 school bags this year already.’

‘I’ve got to get to work. I can’t waste my time on this palaver every morning.’

‘I know, darling, but please keep calm. Now listen, Note, can you remember where you saw it last?’

‘I know.’

‘Shut up you.’

‘Bank, what do you know about this?’

‘He’s traded it.’

‘Shurrup.’

‘Traded it? What do you mean?’

‘You know. Those blasted Pokemon cards or whatever they are.’

‘Oh Dad, that is like lame. Pokemon is so yesterday.’

‘Bank, don’t talk to your father like that.’

‘Well I’m not paying another 100 baht for a new card. If he’s traded it, he’ll just have to trade it back.’

‘Can’t.’

‘Why can’t you, dear?’

‘’Cause he doesn’t like have those cards any more …’

‘Shut your hole.’

‘Note! Don’t use that language.’

‘… ’cause he like gave those cards to that slut in P2.’

‘Bank! Where did you learn …’

‘What slut in P2?’

‘Father! You’re just encouraging them.’

‘If you like pay her, she like lets you look …’

‘That is enough. Alright, we’ll talk to your teacher and see if we can get your card back. Bank, have you got yours?’

‘Like sure thing.’

‘Let me see.’

‘Like there.’

‘Just a minute. Move your thumb. Have you seen this, dear? The photograph is all warped. Is this your card?’

‘Like ye-e-e-es. My name, see?’

‘What the hell have you done to this?’

‘Darling, please, your language.’

‘Er, well, like, it was like an accident. ’Snot like my fault.’

‘An accident?’

‘See, P’Det was like showing us how to light our farts, see, …’

‘He was what?’

‘So that’s where my bloody lighter went.’

‘… and like he’d just like lit mine when somebody said the Khru Yai was coming and I like pulled up my trousers like quick, see, and it was like in my back pocket, and it sort of got singed like.’

‘Right, that’s it. I’ve got no more time for you pair. Just get in the car right now or I’ll be late for work. We’ll sort it out later.’

‘Bye, darling. Have you got a lot of work in court today?’

‘Only another 75 cases of primary school kids caught with no ID card.’

‘Oh dear! And will you fine them?’

‘This lot? Not likely. They’re all recidivists. Some have been up before me 5 times already. No, we’re going to they’re all illegal aliens and declaring them persona non grata. That’ll teach them. They’ll be deported to Cambodia by this time tomorrow.’


* The title is chosen to commemorate the centenary of the publication in 1911 of ‘The Card’ by Arnold Bennett.

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