The scene is the campaign headquarters of A Certain Party.  With just days to go to the election, they are heading for defeat even by their own polls.  Things haven’t been going their way.

‘What is it with this military?  No sooner have we announced on the platform at Ratchaprasong that the PM didn’t order the troops into a bloodbath than this Hua Na Khuang writes in this army rag that he did order it.  Are they on our side or not?’

‘I’m sure they are, sir.  You only have to recall the Army Commander-in-Chief’s interview on TV …’

‘Yeah, brilliant.  All this guff about good people and not voting for the same thing.  The ones who twigged what he was on about got pissed off about the military interfering in elections and the rest thought we were “the same thing” and he was asking people to vote us out.’

‘Well, sir, Col Sansern did come out and explain the article.’

‘Explain?  “The article is correct but contains some inaccuracies”?  And all that stuff about “protective troops” being different from snipers because “protective troops” stopped people getting shot.  So the snipers were there to shoot them, I suppose.’

‘I’m sure that’s not what he meant, sir.’

‘Lord knows what he meant.  I was there and I couldn’t understand what he was on about.’

‘Er, I’m not sure if you’ve seen the second article, sir.’

‘What second article?’

‘Well it’s in the same journal, sir, and it’s probably the same writer, but he explains how Military Intelligence used photos and videos of the red shirt business as propaganda.’

‘I don’t think I’m going to like this.  And how exactly did Military what for want of a better word we’ll call Intelligence use this stuff?’

‘Erm, no real problem there, sir.’

‘Incredible.’

‘But it’s the other stuff they used.’

‘What other stuff?’

‘Well it seems they took footage from the south and mixed it in to make the red shirts look bad.’

‘Well that’s brilliant.  So now every last picture is going to be questioned, even the genuine stuff.’

‘Probably so, sir.’

‘What is this Army journal anyway?’

‘Senathipat, sir.  It’s by the Army Training Command.  It’s a very good read, sir.  They analyze past operations and draw out the lessons to be learned.  Very informative.’

‘To the right people, perhaps.  But not everybody.  How can we create unity in this country if the military goes telling everyone how they’re being lied to?’

‘I see your point, sir.’

‘Right, get on to Army Command and tell them, er no, ask them, but forcefully, to stamp Top Secret on this blessed publication.  No sales to the general public.  Surely they don’t need the money, not after what we’ve given them.’

‘Very good, sir.  And shall we do the same with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs?’

‘Why?  What have they done?’

‘Well, I have been informed that the next issue of their in-house journal contains an analysis of the Preah Vihear negotiations.’

‘And?’

‘And how the facts of the case were deliberately misrepresented, phone calls to the media, planted op-ed pieces, all that black information stuff.’

‘Give me strength.’

‘Apparently the article concludes that as an exercise in controlling the parameters of the debate, it has been extremely successful.’

‘I know it’s been successful.  We’ve even got half those yellow shirt yahoos thinking we’ve pulled out of the World Heritage thing.  That could mean enough votes for two, maybe three more Bangkok seats.’

‘Excellent news, sir.’

‘But it won’t happen if they find out it’s all a hoax and we’re staying in, will it?’

‘Perhaps they’ll still support us.’

‘After the names that Sondhi’s been calling us?  I very much doubt it.  Get the publication stopped.  Or at least postponed and kept under wraps until after the vote.’

‘Yes, sir.  And the others, as well?’

‘Others?’

‘Well, apparently the in-house journal of the Economic Statistics Unit of the Ministry of Commerce has done a costing of our election promises and worked out they will bankrupt the country inside 3 months.’

‘What!’

‘But the other lot’s promises will do it in 2 and a half, so that’s good news, isn’t it?  Then the Law Reform Society has a piece showing how court verdicts are manipulated.  And the Public Accountability Commission has analyzed how it came about that most National Human Rights Commissioners don’t know what human rights are.’

‘I’ll have to sit down.  Is that it?’

‘Pretty much.  Oh, except for the Royal Household Review.  They’ve got an article explaining how, over the years, they’ve managed to …’

‘I don’t want to know.’