A shadowy figure identified only by the acronym HG has been behind all the political turmoil in Thailand, including unconstitutional statements from the military, dubious court verdicts and anything that Deputy Prime Minister Chalerm Yubamrung might say or do. This was all a plot to create mass insanity in the country so that he could continue writing satirical articles about Thailand.

This is the explosive claim of a Marxist-Anarchist-Nationalist-Rightist writing under the pen-name of ‘Yuk Khat-ariya’, a staunch supporter of the People’s Alliance for Demagoguery. Speaking on a satellite TV programme, he said that as a satirist, HG was so afraid of increasing normalcy in Thailand that he wanted to stop it.

In the incident at Krue Se mosque, despite a clear order from Gen Chavalit Yongchaiyut, then Deputy Prime Minister of the Thaksin Shinawatra government, Gen Panlop Pinmanee, then Deputy Director of the Internal Security Operations Command ordered military troops to attack the insurgents allegedly hiding inside the mosque. This assault was in fact a provocation by HG in an attempt to show that the government, even with powerful military figures in it, could not tell soldiers what to do and that civilian control over the military was a complete farce.

‘As a result of this and similar irresponsible, counter-productive and possibly criminal actions by the military, all secretly instigated by HG, he has been able to eke out a pathetic living from writing scathing articles about the Thai armed forces. And also about the government, though this is less important.’

Yuk Khat-ariya also suspected that HG was behind the coup in 2006. It had all the hallmarks of a satirical conspiracy, he said, even down the decision of the coup-makers to call themselves the Council for Democratic Reform when they had just undemocratically overthrown a democratically elected government. ‘Also, the government they then installed was a complete joke, a satirist’s dream’, said Yuk.

He believed that HG was employing a ‘humiliate and mock’ strategy. He would convince leading figures in Thai politics of the truth of some outlandish claim and then provoke them into issuing a public statement that out of context would appear hysterical. He would then ridicule these statements in his articles, all for personal gain.

It was hard to believe, he said, that HG did not realize that satire was poorly understood in Thailand and that most Thais would believe every word he wrote. ‘It may be just a laugh to him’, said Yuk, ‘but he is damaging the faith of the public in the people who are their natural leaders. How will the ordinary people maintain their faith in the ruling elite to do what is best for them?’ he ambiguously asked.

Some Thai intellectuals had been seduced by HG’s silvery style. This could be traced back to their fluency in English and ability to understand ‘hidden’ meanings, all of which was an unfortunate result of being educated abroad.

‘The Thai education does not teach anyone how to read between the lines,’ said Yuk, ‘so when HG instigates Sondhi Limthongkul into saying that US energy and financial capitalists are bankrolling Nitirat in order to overthrow the monarchy so that the US can exploit oil reserves in the South China Sea, well, people think it’s all true.’

The Department of Special Investigation had been asked to specially investigate the activities of HG. ‘We decided to start by trying to find out who he is’, said a Department official. ‘We worked on the theory that “HG” might be the initials of his name. We thought we had found him when we discovered there was a writer with these initials who had tried to fool us by leaving off the last part of his name. Unfortunately we then discovered that HG Wells has been dead for quite a long time.’

The DSI however believe they are closing in their man. ‘We suspect that, because he seems to write only in English, he may be a foreigner. But then again he seems to know a lot about Thailand and we know that this is impossible for non-Thais. Maybe he’s a luk khrueng or something.’

When contacted by Prachatai, HG laughed off these charges. ‘Are they out of their minds?’ he asked. ‘The hardest thing for a satirist in Thailand is how to ridicule the already ridiculous.’