30th April 2012
I write to you to share my thoughts before the verdict will be read in the next 7 hours. Although I still don't know any answer for my life, I wish we can win the case but I should prepare for unexpected results too. Many of you asked how do I feel as the verdict is approaching. Honestly, there were mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'm glad that I'm able to get some guide of my future, it might be better than never known.
On the other hand, I could not say I'm not frightened, even though there is just little chance of getting a strong penalty and being not granted bail when I appeal. Then I keep asking myself what I might do in case the result come out this way. An answer which is clear and strong in my mind is to "write to you"
I'm not good in saying about my feeling and I cannot have any words to describe the state of my mind and my body. It is completely new experience that I wish I can share with you as a lesson of life in the future.
3 years is quite long for being with the accusations but because of your efforts and supports that have helped me walk through this fate without discouragement. There are many people who do things in their own capacity.
I just want to send my thoughts and thanks to all of you for being along with me in this journey. And yes! this is just some distance we can make, it still has a long way to walk and yes ! I wll keep walking on this trail. :)
I started writing this email at 3 AM and felt asleep and woke up to continue at 6.30 AM. Now it's about in next 3 hours I will no my destiny.
Walking in a cloud
Clowning the cloudy
Sweeping away the darkness.
Keeping smile to the absurd world
Determine my destiny.
Distance looks unmeasurable.
Don't know how far to reach there
Then I decided to...
Accomodate the joys and pains
Celebrate the destiny of freedom.