The re-enlistment of Duang Yoobamrung to the Royal Thai Army is only the latest in an interesting line of government appointments. 

The former Sub-Lieutenant hopes to resume his old job in the Armed Forces Security Centre, the main intelligence unit for the military.  His army career was interrupted when in October 2001 he was involved in an incident in a Bangkok night club where Pol Sgt Suwichai Rodwimut was shot dead. 

Acting as any innocent bystander would, Sub-Lt Duangchalerm, as he then was, fled the country.  After all, he only had his wealth, his powerful family connections and his father’s flair for self-publicity to protect him against malicious charges.

After 6 months on the lam, Duangchalerm resurfaced, with family members in tow, at the Thai Embassy in Kuala Lumpur.  He was now ready to face a trial where the witnesses appear to have suffered an attack of collective amnesia and confusion.  The case was dismissed, but poor victimized Duangchalerm was now out of a job.  Not for being involved in sordid crimes like this – he was after all acquitted.  The Royal Thai Army unfortunately has rules about soldiers having to turn up for duty and his lengthy absence without leave earned him a dishonourable discharge.

One stands in awe of the magnanimity of the Royal Thai Army in taking again to its bosom such a prodigal son.  I am confident the nation is reassured that military intelligence will again benefit from the acumen and insight that Sub-Lt Duang can contribute.

Also rehabilitated is his brother Wan.  (He was formerly named Wanchalerm – is there a pattern here?  Perhaps their father Chalerm could follow their example and thus become nameless.  If that also made him silent, there are many who would appreciate it.) 

Wan suffered a severe identity problem for many years.  He had the habit of stepping on people’s toes in night clubs as a clumsy but effective way of engaging them in conversation.  This often centred round his plaintive cry ‘Do you know who my father is?’  And although many people were able to tell him, it somehow still ended up in fisticuffs and Wan was repeatedly banned by the courts from night clubs and bars.

But Wan is now secretary to the Deputy Minister of Public Health.  Originally it was thought he would provide policy guidance on how to deal with wayward youth.  This has now been defined further.  He advises on public toilets (where wayward aim can indeed be a problem).  Wan himself says this fulfils a childhood dream of making every Thai toilet flush, so perhaps his early years were even more troubled than his later boisterous behaviour would indicate.

The Minister of Public Health has kept up the good work of giving jobs to those who society might otherwise shun.  He has tried to appoint Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers’ Association of Thailand (PReMA) president Teera Chakajnarodom to the board of the Government Pharmaceutical Organization.

Now the GPO is Thailand’s leading producer of generic medicines, providing a life-line to many with otherwise fatal illnesses, though unfortunately this does mean the patents of large pharmaceutical companies sometimes have to be compromised. 

PReMA (which, in another identity problem, calls itself Thai but actually represents companies like Novartis and Abbott and so on) has exactly the opposite objective – to protect the profits of large pharmaceutical companies at the cost of Thai lives.

Minister Chaiya Sasomsap argued that the appointment of Khun Teera would give the GPO Board more expertise in efficient profit-making, but it looks like this innovative move will be stymied by some outmoded red-tape regulation about not appointing the representatives of competitor organizations to state enterprise boards.

The Ministry of Culture also showed an enterprising flair for the unexpected choice when it selected Girly Berry as ambassadresses of the Ministry’s somewhat prudish version of Thai Songkran culture.  Unfortunately the good work of a pre-Songkran photo-op of the young ladies in traditional Thai dress was, perhaps predictably, short-lived.  At their Songkran gigs, the group went back to distracting the audience from their questionable musical talents by shaking and jiggling parts of their anatomy in a way that just doesn’t work in anything ankle-length. 

There are reports of further creative appointments in the pipeline.  Kanpitak Pachimsawas, better known as Mu Ham or the man who uses his Mercedes as a lethal weapon, is being sought by the Department of Land Transport to lend his name to their ‘No to Road Rage’ campaign.  Charoen Sirivadhanabhakdi, the liquor magnate, is to be appointed to an advisory committee of the Office of National Buddhism to promote observance of the Fifth Precept.  Former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, looking for a non-political role in Thai society, is being canvassed by the Sports Authority of Thailand as a consultant on how to hire and fire the national football team manager.

But one important appointment by Toastmasters International will have to wait until the end of the current administration.  They are looking to appoint Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej as their roving ambassador on politeness and etiquette in public speaking.  Even if his current hissy fit saves him from having to talk to the press, he just doesn’t have the time right now.