Executives of the ruling Peoples Power Party, and of its coalition partners the Chat Thai and Matchimathippathai parties, have been red-carded by the Election Commission of Thailand.  Their parties consequently face the possibility of dissolution.  The Peoples Power Party is the phoenix that rose from the ashes of the Thai Rak Thai party when this was dissolved after its executives were caught bribing minor parties to lose an election.

 

In retaliation, the Peoples Power Party has threatened to expose evidence of electoral wrong-doing by an executive of the Democrat Party, which escaped dissolution once before.

 

The apparently compulsive recidivism of Thai politicians and the swashbuckling attitude to enforcement by the Election Commission and the courts threaten to decimate the Thai political scene.  Party dissolution comes with 5-year bans on political activity by all executives of the offending party, both those that broke the rules and those that just sat at the same committee table with them.

 

Many political observers foresee that unless the constitution is changed, running a political party is going to become a near suicidal business.  The following transcript of a phone call to be made in 2012 to Professional Experts for Responsible Political Solutions, a new kind of consultancy company that was created to deal with the problem.  Unfortunately, for technical reasons, we are able to being you only one side of the conversation. 

 

‘PERPS, we are the solution to your dissolution, good morning, can I help you?’

 

‘I am sure we can help.  Could I have the name of your political party, please?’

 

‘We guarantee total confidentiality.  And in order to provide a comprehensive professional service, we do require the name of your party.’

 

‘Well, it could be someone else pretending to be you, couldn’t it?’

 

‘Right, that’s lovely.  Now that didn’t hurt a bit, did it?  Now I’m on the computer here, and just let me look you up on the ECT database ….’

 

‘Yes, our technical staff have arranged for online browsing, it leaves no trace, so, ...  Just one mo-…  Oh dear.  I’m sorry, but your party is listed as already dissolved.’

 

‘Yes.  One of 6 parties dissolved by order of the court on the 15^th of last month.  That’s ancient history in this busi-…’

 

‘Oh I am sorry.  The Alumnus Party of the People’s Motherland Democratic Popular Alliance Loves All 75 Provinces National Reconciliation Patriotic Party Redux.  OK.  Sorry, I missed the Alumnus bit.  Yes, the dissolved party is the People’s Motherland Demo-…’

 

‘Yes, your former party, I quite understand.’

 

‘Yes it is getting difficult to think of a new name when so many have been banned.’

 

‘Well, which of your opponents do you want to see dissolved?  May I mention this month’s special offer of photographic evidence of a bribe being handed by the opponent of your choice to a Constitutional Court judge?  We offer a full range of bribe vehicles from the regular stuffed envelope to a pastry box in a wide range of attractive pastel colours.  It’s all doctored of course, but it will be supported in court with perjured testimony coached by our special team who will in the meantime ensure that your false witness doesn’t get nobbled by the opposition into telling the truth.’

 

‘Ah, I see.  You’re in the market for protection against such tricks?  Well, you’ve come to the experts.  Set a thief to catch … Well, yes, that could be better expressed, I suppose.’

 

‘Yes, registering a party with no executives does, at first glance, seem a very clever way of escaping the possibility that one of them will get stitched up.  But our legal team have looked at this very closely.  Very closely indeed.  And it does really seem impossible.  The Election Commission simply won’t let you register unless you have at least 3 executives – chair, treasurer and secretary.’

 

‘Yes, it does seem unnecessarily strict, I agree, but in fact the Commission does seem to be following the law in this case.’

 

‘Well, yes, of course.  When you’ve been dissolved and come back 4 times under a new name, of course you’ll be short of executives.’

 

‘Yes, er, have you asked any of the wives?  Only that’s sometimes a way …’

 

‘I see.  Well, no matter, we can arrange something for you.  We can provide you with 3 instant members of your party, we just log them into the ECT database, backdated, of course, and you just fake a meeting resolution appointing them to their offices.’

 

‘Oh no, absolutely no chance that they will ever get caught doing anything.  I mean, depending on which package you choose, they’re either fictional characters from a soap opera, illegal migrant workers with fake Thai names, or dead.  The dead package is very popular since you don’t actually have to pay them anything to do nothing, if you see what I mean.’

 

‘Yes?  Well I’ll fax you our terms and conditions and you can get back to me.  Only I do want you to be aware that if you do take up our offer, there is a clause in the contract forbidding your party from ever supporting a constitutional amendment to do away with this threat of dissolution.’

 

‘Well, I’m surprised to hear a Thai politician take that tone.  This arrangement may make a mockery of party politics, but it’s our bread and butter.  Good day to you.’

 

About author:  Bangkokians with long memories may remember his irreverent column in The Nation in the 1980's. During his period of enforced silence since then, he was variously reported as participating in a 999-day meditation retreat in a hill-top monastery in Mae Hong Son (he gave up after 998 days), as the Special Rapporteur for Satire of the UN High Commission for Human Rights, and as understudy for the male lead in the long-running ‘Pussies -not the Musical' at the Neasden International Palladium (formerly Park Lane Empire). And if you believe any of those stories, you might believe his columns